Black Sparks

When you see this blog you may think “Here we go again”, because it is about depression you may think he’s a miserable b****r.  I can assure you that I am not, and I hope my friends will testify to this.

Black Sparks is about an episode of depression I went through just over two weeks ago.  I am posting it with the hope that it will help those of you who have friends or relatives with depression, to understand what they have to go through, and for those of you who have had no contact with depression, I am trying to give you an insight into what a person with depression has to endure.

 

Black Sparks

Black sparks of doubt, bolts of fear, race through my brain

Intangible, implausible, indisputable, incessant

Throughout the sleepless night, bullying and frightening

Darkness’s comfort, giving way to daylight’s harsh reality

Daylight, time to achieve ambitions with passion and determination?

For some perhaps, but not me

Achievement, ambition, passion, non-existent in my world

My world of conscious loneliness, unconscious isolation

Reality, reason and conviction stifled, in an all-consuming pall

A pall of despair, dejection and melancholy

Despair and melancholy, desperate dreams of escape

My essence bars me from realising such unspeakable dreams

Dreams of permanent darkness, permanent silence

Dreams of ending it all

These are the dreams I cannot realise

There is hope; perhaps I can dispel this pall of doubt, fear and despair

wurzelmeone

20th August 2010

 

 

 

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About wurzelmeone

I'm a mental health advocate, sometime writer, dreamer and according to some friends a part-time alchemist!
This entry was posted in Depression, Discrimination, Hope, Living, Mental Health, mental illness, Prejudice, Stigma, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Black Sparks

  1. keatsbabe says:

    Hi Chris
    I hope you feel that the pall is lifting. You are not a miserable anything, you are lovely warm and caring and always find a way to lift my spirits. See you soon?? x

  2. wurzelmeone says:

    Hi Suzie
    It is! And thank you! Yes.

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